(Don't forget to check out Rule #9 Part 11!)
It can be argued that learning to form good relationships can be the most important thing you do for yourself when you are in your twenties. Last week I focused on why building strong relationships is a significant rule during your Quarterlife years. Not only is it important for those around you, but it is also important if you want to focus on being the best individual that you can be. Learning how to build a solid relationship with the people around you will not only make your life a lot more pleasant and enjoyable, but from those relationships you will also learn a lot of lessons that will teach you a lot about yourself and how you can successfully develop good relationships in all aspects of your life.
There are many different types of relationships that are defined in your twenties, and it is important to learn what you can from each type. For most twentysomethings, the most mentally and emotionally consuming (and usually stressful) of these types of relationships are our romantic relationships. In these relationships, it’s important to find out who and what we like in a person but also to see what we ourselves are like in a romantic relationship. Dating and developing romantic relationships in your twenties is fun, wonderful and enlightening, but also at times a frustrating, scary and heartbreaking experience. Yet if you are conscious to learn from all of your trials and tribulations in the dating world, good and bad, you will find out what type of person complements you best and also how you can best succeed in a relationship with a significant other. It may be difficult to move on from some romantic relationships, but there is always something to be learned about yourself that will make you stronger in the long term. Most twentysomethings want to end up with the right person (if they plan to eventually get married), so learning how to form strong romantic relationships is especially important to learn and focus on.
Another important type of relationship that is key for twentysomethings to cultivate are professional relationships. A majority of people in their twenties are entering the working world for the first time, and meeting a lot of professionals, young and old, experienced and inexperienced. Developing strong relationships with professional contacts can be beneficial to anyone in their twenties for many reasons. Not only can you develop strong friendships with your co-workers, but you can also build a strong professional network that can guide you along your own career path. Get to know as many of your co-workers individually as you can. The ones with experience can share with you their own path and teach you about their experiences, mistakes and successes in the working world. The ones with less experience can share with you their frustrations and accomplishments in navigating the working world for the first few years as you are. Creating strong relationships with co-workers and your bosses can also help to find a mentor who can personally guide you through your professional path and provide support whenever you need it. Even if you don’t plan on continuing with the career you might be currently working in, it’s still advantageous to have good relationships with your former and current co-workers because they can often provide good professional advice and support no matter what industry or career path you may choose.
Along with dealing with romantic and professional relationships in your twenties, it is also a great time to focus on and develop a stronger relationship with your family. There is a common saying that goes “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” In our younger years, not every relationship with our parents or siblings was always calm or satisfying. When we are younger, we are usually struggling to develop our own individuality as our family members are trying to have just as much influence on the individuals we will become, which often leads to clash and conflict. As we enter into our twenties and further towards adulthood, we become more sensible as adults and can use this time to develop stronger relationships with our family. We start to see our parents less as overprotective authority figures and can sympathize with them as adults as we begin to share some of the same daily struggles and frustrations that they have encountered for many more years than we have. If you have solid relationships with your family members, then when you encounter your most difficult moments in your twenties you will always find unconditional support and love to get you through the hard times. When you break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, lose a job, or have trouble finding your way, it’s your family that will always be there to help you out. You may not always find that they will give you the wisest or welcome advice, but from them you will certainly find the emotional support that will carry you through any setback. It’s that emotional support from your family that you won’t get from anyone else in your life, so it’s important to focus on your relationships with your family so that you can always know when to draw on them for the support you need to get you through this unique time of life.
During our Quarterlife years as we are building a deeper relationship with ourselves, it is important to be mindful that we can’t do it alone. While it is important to create a strong sense of individuality, it is just as important to develop strong relationships with the people around you who can help in your growth as an individual and also make the journey just as rewarding. With each relationship you enter into, good and bad, there is always something to be learned about yourself and about how you can create even stronger relationships with others. If you really work to form strong emotional, professional and supportive relationships with the people around you, you will find even greater fulfillment in every other success you gain in your twenties.
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