“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss
These days in the age of social networking and mass media that is constantly forcing people to conform to particular lifestyles and ideologies, it’s hard to be completely unapologetic about your individuality. Everyone strives to be accepted into their community anyway they can, whatever and wherever it may be. It’s never a bad thing to want to fit in to your surroundings, but the trouble comes at those times when we sacrifice who we are as an individual in order to fit in. During the Quarterlife years this can tend to happen more often than not because as we are exploring our identities while we are in our twenties, it can often take a lot of time and effort to feel fully comfortable with who we are as individuals. This is because we are not as constantly surrounded by a support system as strong as the one we may have had around us growing up like our friends and families that were always nearby. As you move away from the close community of college and home life, and into what can be, at times, a lonely period of early adulthood, it’s easy to want to conform to the standards of others, whether it’s your co-workers, a new girlfriend or boyfriend, a new roommate, etc. People always have the urge to want to be accepted by those around them, sometimes at great costs. In your twenties, when more people with very diverse backgrounds and personalities will come and go in your life than in any other time, it’s more to your benefit to be true to yourself and develop a strong sense of individuality that you can be proud of.
Finding your genuine individuality and being true to your yourself can be a daunting challenge when you’re in your twenties, but doing so is beneficial in ways that aren’t always immediately obvious or clear at first. Most times we tend to want to conform because we want to fit in and please other people. This most likely happens with a new group of friends, co-workers or someone you may be currently dating. In these situations we might not be completely truthful about ourselves, give in to some non-traditional behavior and sacrifice our true personality so that we can be accepted by these new people in our lives. When this happens what we don’t realize is that it’s really not benefiting us in any positive way. While we may fit in or be accepted at first, we’re really sacrificing our individuality for THEIR benefit, not ours. Eventually what you will come to realize is that you’ve sacrificed your individuality so that someone else might be okay with you, and not so that ultimately you’ll be completely okay with yourself. Also what will happen is that you’ll realize that maybe these people aren’t fun to be around, or don’t complement you in a way that will make you happy to be your true self. What will happen when you are true to yourself is that the people that do complement you will find you, and vice versa. You might have to be patient at first, but you’ll find that there are other people out there that share similar qualities and tastes as you and you’ll be more likely to develop deeper bonds with those kinds of friends.
In our twenties what we tend to forget and what differentiates our lives from our college years is that we get to choose who we surround ourselves with. No one is forcing you to live with a particular roommate or take classes with the same group of people, or even work at any particular company. While you might have to put up with a few quirks of a new roommate or a difficult co-worker from time to time, for the most part we get to decide who our friends are and who we do and don’t allow into our lives. Therefore, it’s important that we choose wisely, and that will always be an easier task if you stay true to who are truly are as an individual.
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