It is often said, “No man is an island.” Meaning, no matter where we go in our lives we will always be surrounded by other people and can never be able to get by exclusively on our own. Never in our adult lives is this truer than when we are in our twenties. While it is the first time for many of us when we are often truly on our own, it is also the time when our strongest and deepest relationships with the people around us should and will be formed. Developing strong relationships with those around us will not only make our lives more fulfilling and complete but will also help to strengthen, define and develop our own individuality.
In our twenties we are always striving to surround ourselves with things to fulfill and define us like a great job, nice place to live, a good car, etc. A lot of twentysomethings tend to believe that once they are materially secure then the important and fulfilling relationships with friends, family and significant others will follow. While pursuing individual fulfillment and success, we sometimes neglect to understand that it is our experiences and relationships with the people around us that make everything else in our lives fulfilling. What is a new job or promotion worth if you don’t get along with your boss or co-workers? What is a new degree worth if you don’t have a good relationship with your parents to share your pride of getting it with them? What is a great new apartment or home worth if you don’t have friends to enjoy it with? If we have strong relationships surrounding us, then all that we work hard to achieve will be fulfilling not only to ourselves but also those closest to us, as well.
Good relationships will also build a strong support system encouraging us as we pursue the success we strive for. In our twenties we are working so hard to achieve financial, professional and material success that we don’t often realize how quickly that can all change, or even in the worst cases, disappear. When you do fall, you will be thankful for the people around you that will always come to support you in time of need. It is in these times when the people we have the closest relationships with will help us rebound even stronger than we were before.
During our Quarterlife years, when we are first trying to figure out a lot of things on our own, we sometimes think that we have the answers to all of our problems, or at least the confidence and the will-power to figure them out ourselves. While this may be a positive mindset and prove to be true in some situations, what we tend to ignore sometimes is that we are constantly surrounded by people who have probably faced and conquered the same problems at one time in their own lives. Most of the time, these people are the ones we are closest to in our lives, like our family members, co-workers and other friends. If you have a strong network of relationships around you, then you will be even more confident in yourself to know when you can face your problems on your own, and when you need to rely on your support system around you.
Even though we hope that we will always have the courage to face all of the problems in our twentysomething years individually as much as possible, there are also times when we can get quite needy as well, but are usually afraid to call upon our friends or relatives in these times of need for fear of rejection, looking weak, and other reasons that probably aren’t sensible. It is in these times of need when you will find that the strong relationships you develop will be the most ready, willing, and able to help you get through those difficult times. If your relationship is strong enough, it won’t even be difficult to call upon them for help because you’ll be confident enough in them to help you when you need it, and they’ll most likely sense that you need someone to rely on anyway.
There are a multitude of reasons why building the strongest relationships possible in our twenties is important. Good relationships with the people around you will help bring out the best in you, and also help you get through the times when you are at your worst. There are many kinds of people you will form relationships with when you are in your twenties, and different types of relationships that are important to focus on and to learn from. Each type of relationship, and every person you form a relationship with will be a great learning experience, which I’ll discuss in my next post. So please check back in next week when I’ll continue with Rule #9 and continue discussing how to “Focus on Relationships.”
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