If there is one thing that can never be debated about living life in your twenties, it’s that no two people will ever have the same experience. In high school and college, you may attend the same schools, take the same classes, get the same test scores, play the same sports, or have the same friends as someone else, but at some point that will change. Inevitably, you will leave the controlled environment of school and head out into the “real world” where a million different factors will make your life unique from everyone else’s and shape your twentysomething experience. As you head down your own individual path, it’s common to look around at other people your age and compare yourself to others who don’t appear to be much different than you are, and are at a point in their lives that may be quite different than the point you’re at. It just so happens that in our twenties this tends to be the root of some of our greatest insecurities. It’s in our nature to compare ourselves to others, but if you learn to focus on yourself and not worry about where others are in their lives, then you’ll find that there is a lot more to appreciate about what’s already all around you.
For most twentysomethings, you’re at a point in life when you are struggling to figure out your individuality and your own path ahead, and it can be easy to look around and appear as if everyone else around you “has it together.” It will happen at times that you will see peers your own age (or even younger) gain notoriety, wealth or success before you. Sometimes it may even appear that they gained that success by not working as hard as you, or by not paying the dues you might be paying to get ahead. This can lead to feelings of depression, lack of motivation and an overall feeling that you might be “doing something wrong.” During these times you might feel frustrated and dejected because life is not exactly turning out as planned for you, but it appears to be working out great for others.
What is important to realize is that the cause of all of these feelings are our own perceptions. When things may not be going as we planned in our own lives we tend to look around and compare ourselves with our peers, and this can lead to feeling that a lot of other people don’t have the same problems that you do and are better off than you are. The truth is that they DON’T have the same problems that you do, but in reality they probably have their own set of struggles and challenges that they are facing. Let’s take work and careers for example. Let’s say that you’ve been working really hard at your job for the past two years since you graduated college. You haven’t moved too far up the ladder at your company, but recently you heard about a college friend of yours that in the same two years has advanced a lot farther at their company and are making double the salary that you are. This can certainly be quite difficult to see that one of your peers is excelling a lot more rapidly than you are, and you might think that they’re doing something right and you must be doing something wrong. However, that’s really your own perception. Yes, they may have a better salary and a higher position at their company, but most likely they probably have challenges and problems that you are not aware of, or would even want. They might have to work many more hours than anyone else and don’t have much of a social life. Also they might be under a lot more pressure than you would want if you were in their position. In many ways, they may even look at you in envy and think that you are more fortunate in what you have going at your job. Unless you walk a day in their shoes, you’ll never fully understand what someone else’s life is truly like beyond their appearances.
It can be very difficult not to notice and compare ourselves to our peers and see where we are in our own lives compared to where they are. At times it is tough to feel like we’re doing everything we can to be successful while it appears that others around us are gaining success quicker and more easily. The solution is to just focus on yourself and do what you can to be content with your own life path. If you feel like you might not be doing the right thing to get the success and happiness that others appear to have, maybe it’s a sign that you might need to make a change in your life, even if it’s a small one. However you can motivate yourself to move closer towards your own happiness, then it won’t matter how others around you are doing. We all have our own mountains to climb, but it just so happens that everyone takes a different route to get to the top. Some routes may seem easier than others, but if you remain dedicated to your own path that you believe is the right one for you, eventually you’ll reach the peak.
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